I spent years supporting brain injury survivors jarred by their "new normal." Little did I know that a different kind of new normal lay on the horizon – and that it would bring me to Jesus.
This article is part of a series on the "Gig is Up" Moment when leaving the New Age to follow Jesus Christ. LEARN MORE ABOUT THE GIG IS UP MOMENT. A "gig is up" moment is a trigger event that destabilizes an occultist's worldview, making them question their previously held values, beliefs, attitudes, and/or practices.
That Time I Got Red Pilled
As a creative arts psychotherapist, I spent years supporting clients jarred by the "new normal" of living with an acquired brain injury. This new normal was typically sudden, traumatic, and existential in that everything – mere survival, day-to-day functioning, purpose, identity, and relationships – changed in an instant without the possibility of going back. Little did I know that a different kind of new normal lay on the horizon – and that it would bring me to Jesus.
Enter 2020. The Pandemic. Or Plandemic. Pick your poison. I needn't recap what this sudden, traumatic, existential event triggered. We were all there, we were all affected. We were all hit by a new normal, and many of us quickly realized there was no going back.
Some of us were of the conspiracy theory ilk. I was open-minded, intrigued by the unexplainable, and a perennial seeker. I was a Mulder, not a Scully. For years, my husband and I spent our evenings "unwinding" to conspiracy videos. Conspiracy theory wove seamlessly with my immersion in alternative healing arts, mysticism, and new age spirituality.
As the events of 2020 unfolded, evil plans to rule the world, which had seemed plausible only in a distant, dystopian future, were suddenly tangible. Imminent. Very quickly, my worldview flipped as theory transpired into an upside-down reality replete with actual evil agendas and overlords. I was red-pilled.
My New Age Spirituality was Luciferian and Other Inconvenient Truths
I knew there was a spiritual root to this global new normal, but I'd not yet found Jesus and looked towards new age spiritual teachers for insight. Also, my training as a shamanic practitioner informed my understanding of the spirit realm, guides, negative entities, and their interactions with humans. I did believe in a spiritual war – but not in a Biblical one.
I did believe in a spiritual war – but not in a Biblical one.
A friend recommended a video by Christian content creator Probably Alexandra. "An Inconvenient History" discusses "the inconvenient history of our world, such as apostate churches; widely held unbiblical beliefs; the New Age; the Establishment’s plans, and the history of indoctrination, infiltration, and control..."
Long story short, by the end of the video I believed: in Satan; that my New Age spirituality was at its roots Luciferian; and that humanity was enmeshed in Satanic spiritual warfare. Even my career as a transpersonal therapist and shamanic counselor was ensnared in the occult.
Prior to this, I didn't believe in sin, Satan, or hell. I suspected there were lower and higher vibrational dimensions, with the lower ones most closely resembling the hell of the Bible. I didn't attribute evil to Satan; rather, I believed darkness simply co-existed with light, creating a tension that underpinned the fabric of universal order.
But now the gig was up, and I wanted out of the bondage of delusion, deception, and Satan. It was at this point I started to open up to the biblical God.
The Prideful Trappings of Conspiracy Land
I started reading the Bible, read Father Seraphim Rose's Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future, scoured the Internet for relevant content, and visited churches here and there.
Still, I couldn't yet release myself to Jesus. There was too much dissonance running amuck in my brain. My inner Mulder instead leaned harder into conspiracy theory.
Many years ago, I was a volunteer sexual assault counselor (and eventually a therapist) at a rape crisis center. I received training from ritual abuse (RA) survivor advocates, supported RA survivors with dissociative identity disorder, and volunteered at a Survivorship conference for RA survivors. This work exposed me to a dark underbelly of humanity and primed me for my descent into conspiracy theory.
In recent years, whistleblower after whistleblower emerged to expose such darkness and wrongdoing in the world, in many cases validating the conspiracy theories that occupied my awareness. In hindsight, these validations functioned a bit like Satanic signs and wonders. They hooked me deeper into conspiracy land, where I dug harder for secret knowledge. This is occultic to its core: the addictive search for secret (occulted) knowledge. The quest for gnosis.
As our 2020 new normal unfurled, conspiracy became my life raft, something I could clutch onto – an idol, a counterfeit way to truth. But not God's truth.
While conspiracy theory runs largely on the currencies of fear and pride, our Heavenly Father has something else in mind for us, "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control," (2 Timothy 1:7).
While conspiracy theory runs largely on the currencies of fear and pride, our Heavenly Father has something else in mind for us, "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control," (2 Timothy 1:7).
Unfortunately, not only did I believe the knowledge I squeezed from the gnostic world of conspiracy theory would help me prepare for whatever calamity was to come: I harbored pride in knowing. I wasn't a normie. I was in the know. Gnosis. The Enemy loves himself a prideful sinner.
While I appreciate that conspiracy theory brought me to my “gig is up” moment, today I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit granted me discernment and convicted me to repent its prideful and gnostic trappings.
The Seeds Were Sown Long Ago
You know what's funny-not-funny? I spent decades in the occult obsessed with seeking signs and wonders when it took only moments for the Holy Spirit to reveal a true miracle that was a lifetime in the making.
My grandmother, Delores, passed in away on my son's birthday in October 2021. It was a swift ailment, and there was no time for a final conversation or to hold her hand.
Delores was a devout Methodist. Widowed at 32 with five children aged two months to 10 years, she eventually remarried a Methodist pastor. As a pastor's wife, Delores was immersed in church life, serving as choir director and organist among many other roles.
When I visited my grandparents as a child, we often spent time outside of service at church. I hung out on the choir balcony and climbed on the stage where the pulpit stood. I played in the Sunday school rooms and laid upon the pews. I remember studying a large crucifix that hung on the wall. On it was Jesus, nails in His hands and feet. I knew his name, and I knew he died on the cross; but, I was young and didn't understand the Gospel.
This was my only window into Christianity as a child, and I am grateful. These were the first seeds sown. This draws me into the Parable of the Sower:
Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.
Delores cast those seeds long ago and never stopped. It just took a hot minute for my soil – my ground – to catch up.
The Holy Spirit is Always at Work
Delores prayed for me all my life. I was forever on the prayer list at her church, though I didn't know why. Of course, now I infer that she likely prayed for my soul, that I might turn to Jesus and find salvation.
At the time of her death, I still struggled to know if Jesus was truly the only way to salvation. The night before her funeral, I stayed in Delores' room surrounded by her things: old photos, keepsakes, stacks of Guideposts, well-worn Bibles, Christian books, verses of scripture jotted onto scraps of paper. That night I prayed. God, please let me know if this – You – are really the truth. Please let me know if this is the path You want me on.
The following day at her funeral, the Holy Spirit's work in my grandmother's life – and mine by love and proxy – revealed itself to me. She wrote out much of her service a few years earlier. My grandmother's words, which I believe were led by Holy Spirit, were alive with us that day. They brought her gentle, quiet discipleship of me full circle.
I always admired my grandmother's ability to raise five children as a widow and attributed it to having stellar family support; however, Delores' own words clarified something for me. Her faith, her relationship with God, and the children He entrusted to her were what got her out of bed each morning, especially on those grief-stricken mornings when she struggled to rise.
Within those moments, I knew my grandmother on a whole other level – that her faith and her love for God made her who she was. She was formed by faith through His grace. And, through His Grace, her faith reached me, finally, and pulled me into the arms of Jesus.
As the pastor ended the service, he paused and almost as an afterthought said something along the lines of, "If there's anyone here who is curious about Christianity or has been struggling to know Jesus, I encourage you to walk towards Him." I knew this was the Holy Spirit speaking through the pastor to give me the direction I prayed for.
After the service, I shared this with the pastor, who was visibly moved and kept in touch with me until I found Christian resources in my own community.
When We Leave the Occult, the Enemy Attacks
Upon returning home from the funeral, I attended a church that coincidentally would perform baptisms four weeks later. I knew I was to be among those baptized.
Two nights before my baptism, I had a terrible, dark dream. The next night, I had an even more disturbing dream and sleep paralysis. A third dream, more ominous than the first two, arrived the night of my baptism. The nightmares came to a full stop until I decided to become a catechumen in the Eastern Orthodox church. The night before the catechumen ceremony, I once again experienced such a dream.
I now know dreams of this nature are demonic attacks. I first experienced these sleep disturbances in my 20s when I was introduced to the new age. The nightmares portrayed violence, disturbing imagery and emotions, demonic possession, and dark presences. I was also afflicted by sleep paralysis and out-of-body experiences, which involved menacing presences, physical sensations (poking, shoving, hitting), and sometimes sexual assault.
The intensity of these nightly encounters escalated over the years as I became more entrenched in the occult. My new age friends and spiritual teachers assured me that these encounters were evidence of my spiritual "abilities" and suggested I shore up my energetic boundaries and protection. I was even told they were a call into shamanism where I could "do battle" with negative entities and release people plagued by such attachments.
In short, I came to believe that these encounters were a marker of my spiritual potential.
Now being in Christ, I recognize that years of sleep paralysis, nightmares, and spectral visitations weren't evidence of a spiritual calling: they were clear signs of demonic oppression.
We Have True Life in Christ
The new normal emerging from the "New Age to Christ" journey is at once awesome and disorienting. Through the grace of God, we are brought back under His wing. Through Him, our craving for (false) healing, knowledge, and power is quelled. We were once hungry ghosts with insatiable appetites: now we have true food, true life through Jesus Christ.
Through Him, our craving for healing, knowledge, and power is quelled. We were once hungry ghosts with insatiable appetites: now we have true food, true life through Jesus Christ.
The Enemy hates it when one of his oppressed wakes up the Lord. To those of us leaving the occult who repent, claim our identity in Christ, and become advocates for the Kingdom: the Enemy will amp up his spiritual attacks, that he may sabotage our path to salvation.
He may influence you to think that you're unredeemable, that God is not with you, that you are alone. He may give you terrible dreams or create strife among your loved ones. He will tempt you, discourage you, deflate you, maybe even pump you up – and He will most definitely try to deceive you.
Along with sacramental worship and immersing myself in the Word, anchoring into a supportive community is key to navigating my new normal in Christ. This is one of the clearest ways I've seen the Holy Spirit hard at work in my spiritual formation.
He has filled my new normal with SO many people who truly love the Lord, new and mature Christians alike. The intercessory prayers of my grandmother – the ones that were the unceasing undercurrent of my long journey home to Christ – have multiplied. I have many, many people praying for me, supporting me, discipling me. And I experience the gift of praying for and supporting so many more people than I ever dreamed.
Prayer is as big and as glorious as you can imagine it to be. And then some. God is merciful and generous.
The "New Age to Christ" trek does have its own idiosyncracies that not everyone understands. I think there's a unique flavor of isolation that we're vulnerable to. Our old community may not understand (or even condone or mock) our new normal in Christ. Our new community may not understand (or even judge or fear) our old normal in the occult.
The "New Age to Christ" trek does have its own idiosyncracies that not everyone understands. I think there's a unique flavor of isolation that we're vulnerable to. Our old community may not understand (or even condone or mock) our new normal in Christ. Our new community may not understand (or even judge or fear) our old normal in the occult.
For a while, we may feel as if we exist in a social-emotional liminal space.
For this reason, I encourage you to pray for a church, spiritual community, and friendships that will edify you as you hone in on your spiritual formation, your spiritual gifts, and draw closer to Christ. For me, the education, support, and community at the Clarity Accelerator Academy are invaluable. Here, there are brothers and sisters in Christ who know exactly what it's like to leave the occult for Jesus.
I also encourage you to read through the content here on Spirit Sanctified and reach out to Teresa Yanaros if you're struggling with your new normal. Remember, the Enemy wants you to feel alienated and isolated, but trust me – you are not alone. "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin," (1 John 1:7).
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
About the Author
Krista Harrison is a homeschooling mom and writer who, after a nearly 20-year search for healing in the new age, found Jesus Christ in 2021. She’s a former psychotherapist who branched off into a spiritual counseling practice that included shamanic healing, hypnotherapy, and channeled energy readings. She was on the verge of starting an Akashic record reading business for her quickly growing Instagram community when the Lord gave her ears to hear and eyes to see. Now, she’s focused on grounding her spiritual formation and spiritual identity in Christ, introducing her children and homeschool to the Lord, and respectfully solidifying her faith-walk within a multi-generational household of non-believers. She’s interested in writing about institutional occult indoctrination, spiritual warfare, the occult roots of the divine feminine, and new age to Jesus mothers and parenting. Krista is a participant in Teresa Yanaros' Clarity Accelerator Academy and is over the moon to serve the Kingdom and support new age to Christ deliverance work as the Managing Editor of “Real Stories” at Spirit Sanctified.
INTERESTED IN THE ACADEMY? If you are a Christian who left the new age, apply to join the CLARITY ACCELERATOR ACADEMY. The Academy takes the entire process from start to finish of getting oriented after leaving the new age, grounding into theology and spiritual warfare, deprogramming new age lies, renouncing Satan's influence, remaining delivered, and establishing a firm context for Christian living and spiritual formation, bible study, how to pray, how to share the gospel, how to build your testimony, how to share your testimony, and put it ALL into this academy. IT WORKS. People's lives are being transformed by this framework, by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Jesus, for deliverance!
Krista is Managing Editor for "Real Stories" with Spirit Sanctified.
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