After leaving the occult and going through deliverance, entering back into the world can hold many shocking experiences: mine was a therapist who tried unsuccessfully to bully me into an abortion.
"Navigating Mental Health: New Age to Catholicism" SERIES
Post Deliverance After Leaving the Occult: The World
After over two years of destroying strongholds, building a firm Christian worldview, strengthening my relationship with the Lord, and fully surrendering to him, I was finally fully free. I was now officially "post deliverance," reentering society and the world.
As I discussed in the previous article of this series, Experiencing God's Peace for the First Time While Leaving the Occult, I planned to address my mental health struggles whenever I would be at this exact point in my journey. Little did I know, that there were still difficulties that I had to face and work through.
The Reality of Sin and Suffering
This newfound freedom was like a breeze of fresh air. Filled with euphoria and joy.
A deeper level of peace, love, and appreciation for life entered my heart.
I wanted it to last forever, and parts of me naively thought it would truly be like this forever.
This bliss lasted for two or three weeks until I felt some discomfort rising to the surface.
Immediately I thought it was spiritual warfare again and got quite upset, about why I am still going through this. It was very humbling to realize that I am still broken, weak, imperfect, a sinner, and in need of Jesus Christ my savior every single day until the hour of death.
Parts of me wanted to run away from this reality, and not accept that I would still have to suffer, especially mentally. However after years in the new age of trying to run away from reality, I had to face it.
It was time to face my brokenness without blaming years of occult involvement and the demonic influence in my life. It was time to face my wounds, that needed healing.
Navigating Mental Health Entering The World
My identity was in Christ. I am a child of God. However leaving the New Age and then fighting so hard for my deliverance was such an intense experience, it was everything my life was filled with for the past years. It formed me and gave me a reason to get up in the morning, to get prepared for daily battle. Now that that was gone, I almost felt empty, which is painful to admit.
I knew I had to stand firm, stick to my spiritual formation, and surrender once again all of this pain to Jesus. Filling this emptiness with nothing but God.
I accepted the reality of my mental suffering. After coming across a catholic therapist Dr. Matthew Breuninger, who said, "Yes we are called to suffer, but we are called to suffer well." I was dedicated to learning how to suffer well mentally.
It was time to seek professional help from a licensed therapist. Hoping to address the symptoms of anxiety and depression, that I had since growing up. Ideally, I wanted to find a catholic therapist, but I could not find a single one located in my area in Germany, nor any information or education about it in German.
Trying to Find a Therapist
Trying to find a therapist, lead to another issue I was not prepared to face.
Because of my testimony, of seeking mental healing in the occult, I was very anxious to be deceived again and scared to find a therapist who has either an occult worldview or practices occult practices, which is unfortunately very common.
Searching online through many websites of therapists, skimming through any red flags I had on my radar. I finally landed on a woman, who specialized in trauma and behavioral therapy and showed no signs of any occult involvement.
In our first meeting, I asked important questions to further discern if it was safe for me.
Here is a short checklist, if you might find yourself in the same situation:
Sharing briefly about the experienced harm by self-claimed "mental health professionals" involved in the New Age
Using this to ask the therapist about their stand on the New Age regarding mental health
Usually, therapists share their background and education, you can also use this to ask follow-up questions on any classes they might have taken additionally. To check if there are any red flags
We had three meetings, where I learned so much about my coping mechanisms, lack of self-worth, and beginning to be aware of my thought patterns and the lies I am telling myself daily.
The Issues of a Non-Christian Therapist
Until our fourth meeting, I was quite happy with the therapist, who was not Christian but seemed to help me immensely.
One day before that next meeting, we found out that God had blessed us with another child. My emotions were all over the place, shifting radically between joy and fear. Fear, because I just started therapy and began to face wounds that also reinforced my mental symptoms.
In our meeting, I shared the great news with her and was hoping to learn more about how I can manage those emotions and also prepare to be equipped against post-partum depression, which I experienced previously.
Her solution to the difficulties I was having, was to make me question whether it was the right time to have another child, saying I wanted to be healed and not pregnant again. She was clearly influenced by pro-choice and held anti-Christian beliefs.
She also knew, that I was still grieving about our third miscarriage, which took place a couple of months before our meetings. She knew what values I had, I explained to her more than once within that meeting, that even thinking about not having this child had not occurred to us. She kept pushing me to agree that I had a choice, which I stood firmly against.
After an hour of this horrible and quite traumatic conversation, I left. I burst out in tears and ran into the next open church I could find. Sitting in front of the altar, I poured my heart out to Jesus. Like I have not done in a while, not since being fully delivered.
Be Strong in The Lord
Once again I did not find the help and support I so desperately needed. It is Jesus who provides. He stood up for me once again, in this dark moment of desperation. Desperation because I thought it was finally time to address some wounds and find healing. Scared of another miscarriage and post-partum depression.
He comforted me in a way, I was never comforted.
When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.
Psalm 118:5-8
I knew if I could not find a Catholic therapist, I would continue to surrender to Christ and give all of this hardship and fear to him. Ask him for guidance and healing.
Since that day, when I was crying out to him in the church, I did not have those severe symptoms I had before starting therapy ever again. During the pregnancy, I felt so many graces poured over us. I felt safe and calm.
The birth of this child was such a beautiful experience, that reconciled all of our past experiences and trauma related to birth. Neither did I experience any post-partum depression. The Lord is faithful, he answered my prayers.
ABOUT NOELLE KAISER
Noelle Kaiser, Blog Manager of Spirit Sanctified, is dedicated to helping Christians navigate mental health challenges, particularly those emerging from New Age deception and spiritual bondage. Having been delivered from occult practices through a powerful encounter with God during the unassisted home birth of her second son, Noelle experienced the grace and sovereignty of Christ. This life-changing moment sparked her passion for educating women on biblical perspectives of fertility, pregnancy, and childbirth, areas in which she was once misled.
As a wife, mother of three, native German, and prayer warrior, Noelle is also passionate about studying and writing about the saints and church history, sharing hope and encouragement with those seeking deliverance and healing in Christ.
ABOUT SPIRIT SANCTIFIED
Spirit Sanctified educates Christians on spiritual warfare through multi-media productions and products. We comprise advocates and creators who work together to help Christians stand against occult worldviews by purifying their beliefs and practices.
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